drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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