you didnt know i had herpes?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
