He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
