i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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