If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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