He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
