Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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