why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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