At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
