I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I just blew my weed a kiss
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
