Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
