I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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