guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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