I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Randomize
