Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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