You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
FUCK WHALES
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