Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
