and my herpes radar will keep us safe
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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