That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
