Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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