If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
The adults are the big ones right?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
