marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
