Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
