i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
