So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
We are all done wearing pants today
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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