her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I didn't notice because vodka
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
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