this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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