she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
