stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I deserve to be covered in dicks
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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