my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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