I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Randomize
