I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
babies were throwing up all over the place
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
