How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
be right there i have to get my cape
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
