So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
