dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Did I show you my penis last night?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
