I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
