Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Randomize
