seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
