Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
