I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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