White coat. Heels.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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