and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
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