Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
My vagina just recognized that song.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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