I think i sorta joined a cult last night
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
