So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
