Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
