Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
