It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Gay?
German.
Pity.
These tits shall not be calmed
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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