she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
