is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
