I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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