i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize