I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
