i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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