Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
