It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
