pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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