I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
