ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
