Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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