I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
