NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
