Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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