I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
