I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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