This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
