He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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